Cheap Bastard heads to Zimbabwe on greatest golf adventure ever

The Cheap Bastard is in a pickle. A really big pickle (obviously). After years of giving of myself, management now wants more. “Where are the great deals you promised,” they asked. “Why don’t you post more,” they scream. “If we have to chase you out of the ladies bathroom again, we’re pressing charges,” they bellow. But your pal Cheap is unafraid of challenges (for the record, the only things I’m afraid of are bats and little people). So that’s why El Cheaperino is off on a whirlwind golf trip to – Zimbabwe . Yes, President/Dictator Robert Mugabe has sent the Prince of Pennies an invitation to try out some of his nation’s golf courses and see what a great vacation spot Zimbabwe truly is. I’ll be traveling soon, bringing my loyal and fabulous readers some amazing things from this African nation, showcasing the amazing deals that can arise from political turmoil. Ah, political turmoil, where would we be without it? So keep your eyes on this blog and look for some amazing deals to come. The Cheap Bastard is taking it up a notch, so be ready. (Editor’s Note: Let us be clear that we have warned the blogger known as the Cheap Bastard about this trip. We are fully against it and are not involved in any way.)

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Cheap Bastard heads to Zimbabwe on greatest golf adventure ever

Pig out on a succulent Hawaii golf package

The Cheap Bastard loves Hawaii . What’s not to love? Beautiful, exotic women, glorious golf opportunities, fabulous beaches – it’s a true paradise. And let El Cheapo let you in on a secret: If you get a shovel and dig anywhere on any one of the Hawaiian Islands, you know what comes up? Succulent, molten pig. So yours truly was excited to see Larry Olmsted at USA Today (the guy who has some weird Bro-mance with WorldGolf.com’s Brandon Tucker ), write about a deal to Kauai through the Kauai Visitors Bureau: The Kauai Visitors Bureau has gotten the island’s best six golf clubs together, with 117 holes between them, and created six golf-centric “activity packages,” each combining golf with other things. Each package costs a flat rate of $175, which means up to $150 in savings on some courses. The packages include: Poipu Bay : One round of golf, a $50 gift certificate to the onsite Hyatt ANARA Spa, and one sleeve of Titleist ProV1 golf balls. Kauai Lagoons Golf Club : One round of golf and choice of two Sunday Champagne Brunches or two prime rib and crab buffet dinners at the onsite Kauai Marriott Resort. Princeville Golf Club #1 : One round of golf on the 27-hole Makai course, plus admission to the The Princeville Hotel’s Poolside Luau. Princeville Golf Club #2 : One round of golf at Prince, one $75 gift certificate for Princeville Resort Spa. Puakea Golf Course: One round of, plus admission for two to the Sheraton Poipu Sunset Luau. Kiahuna Golf Club : One round of golf, one 55-minute massage. To find out more, head over to the Kauai Visitors Bureau. Or if you’re looking for another succulent Hawaiian golf package, check out the packages WorldGolf.com has to offer . El Cheapo is ready for some Hawaiian luau action, let me tell you. I’m already packed even. Got my Speedo, got my shovel and got my sunscreen. Though truth be told, despite my Latin heritage, yours truly has incredibly sensitive light skin. So I don’t even bother with sunscreen anymore. I just have someone give me a good blast from a fire extinguisher. See y’all in Kauai.

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Pig out on a succulent Hawaii golf package